I will survive!

I am getting ready to do one of the most difficult things as a parent.....leave my baby for a whole week!

I mean, it won't all be torture....I'm going to Hawaii!

Nonetheless, my anxiety has been peaked as I attempt to get ready to go. I know that Peyton will be okay....she will have her dad, Aunties and grandma to love her and care for her.  But the reality is...they aren't me. And we are used to being with each other 24/7.

I also know this will be good for the both of us....Peyton will get bonding time with others and I will have a week to relax and rejuvenate (because let me tell you....this newly mobile baby has me worn out).

On the plus side....Peyton isn't sleeping well....which means I will get a week off of her poor sleeping behaviors! (And a week off the chaos surrounding cementing our patio!)

In the end, I'm sure it will be harder on me than it will Peyton....I'll probably cry....but I'll also survive (and try to enjoy relaxing on a beach ;)).

Letting go...

The next few weeks will be tough as all of my teacher friends and family head back to school and get their new gaggle of students. 

When I made the choice to stay home with Peyton is was an easy choice but at the same time a very emotionally difficult one. I'm not a very self boosting person but I was a good teacher....that was what I was meant to do, teach....and I loved it!  So making the choice to give up something I loved and was good at....even if it was for something else I know I would love even more....it takes an emotional toll.

Though I have to admit as this time approached I have found myself feeling bits of doubt and regret for my decision....did I make the right one? Even though I know that I did.  The problem was that as a teacher.....I gave 100%.   And I quickly learned that for me...giving 100% as a teacher and giving 100% as a mom didn't mix well. I didn't want to be at work late getting ready for the next day....I wanted to be with Peyton.  It wasn't fair to my students to not have a 100% teacher...and that's not who I am.  And so I know that as much I LOVE teaching....it will be there when I'm ready to go back.  But for now my place in life is home with Peyton.

I am so glad that as this tough time approachs Peyton is in such a fun age....doing and growing so much. Backward crawling (she can forward crawl...she just doesn't know she's doing it!), pulling herself up and making sounds that sound a lot like mom mom. This all makes me excited to see what's next and happy that I'll be home to see it happen :-)

Heck, if it weren't for staying home I probably would have never found this new love of sewing.  So as one door closes....another one opens.

Confessions of a Stay-at-home-mom!

1.  When Bryce is home, sometimes I pretend I have to go to the bathroom just to close the door and enjoy a few minutes alone.

2.  When Peyton is playing on the floor nicely I let her play with unplugged cords just to keep her content.

3. Sometimes when changing Peyton's diaper, I change her clothes...just for a cute wardrobe change.

4.  On days when Peyton is fussy I take her to wander Target because being out and about makes her a happy baby!

5. It is so hard NOT to online shop when Peyton is napping sweetly in my arms.