46 weeks.........

Pregnancy...of any kind is an emotional roller coaster.  And that is exactly what I have been on lately...an emotional roller coaster!  Maybe it's even more of an emotional tornado.  I can be completely calm and dandy one minute and then a whirlwind of Blahhhhahhhhhhhhwhahaahah (that was my written representation of out of control emotion) the next!

Today we went to the dr and Baby A is about 5lb 1oz and Baby B is about 5lb 7 oz.  So yep...that's over 10lb of baby!  My stomach is measuring 46 weeks...yes that's right 46 weeks!! My stomach is the size of someone who has been carrying a baby for 46 weeks....(please keep in mind that the reguler gestation is 40 weeks) so my stomach is 6 weeks bigger than most people will ever get.  I literally wanted to CRY when she told me that.  This is part of that emotional roller coaster. 

I have some days where I am determined to carry these babies as far as I need to because I want them to be big and healthy! I would LOVE for these boys not to have to do any NICU time and get to come home right away. That is the ideal situation! Then there are other days (like finding out exactly how huge your stomach is) where I just cry/or want to cry because my body hurts so much and I'm so uncomfortable and all I want is to have these babies right now because I'm just emotionally and physically done!

There are also times that I get so sad thinking about not carrying these boys around with me and getting to keep them all to myself...feeling them squirm and wriggle.  Then there are the moments I hear another pregnant person (usually only carrying one baby) complain about being pregnant...because they are so uncomfortable....and I literally want to punch them in the face....because half the time they are significantly smaller than I am....because after all, I am the size of a 46 week pregnant woman!!! This is when I usually have to calm myself down and tell myself that I must just be tougher than them (not necessarily true...but it helps) and that I too complained when I was pregnant with Peyton. Sigh!!

Sometimes I get so sad thinking that my time alone with Peyton is almost up...and sooner, rather than later, she will have to share me.  And that makes me sad...because she deserves all of my attention.  But then I think about how I can't wait to cuddle with her again when my belly isn't getting in the way and she can actually fit on my lap again. And I can make it around the block with her without needing to come home and put my feet up and drink a big glass of water because I'm having contractions. 

So these are some of the daily struggles that I endure! And I keep trying to remind myself...that there is ultimately a light at the end of the tunnel! And I'm sure that these next 4 1/2ish weeks will go by faster than I can even imagine.  In fact next week is my last week without a Dr appt....I still have my NST but no Dr appt.  Then after that I have a Dr appt and ultrasound every week and I will still go to the hospital for my weekly NST. This will keep us busy and help time to fly. 

Now if only I could figure out how to control the DAMN emotions!!!!!!

5 fingers!!

Omg!!! I can officially count on ONE hand the number of POTENTIAL weeks left before babies!!! Eeek...sometime in the next 5 weeks Peyton's baby brothers will be here!!!!

Getting closer....but still weeks away.

The last couple of days have been tiring on this very pregnant mama!

On Wednsday, Peyton and I were having a normal Wednsday. I took her to gymnastics and she was actually having a great day. I wasn't chasing her around or exhausting myself...she was doing pretty darn good! After gymnastics we went home and had lunch and then I put her down for her nap. While she napped I relaxed in the recliner with a glass of water and watched a little tv.  I had been having some intense contractions....stomach tightening, low cramping, lower back pain, extra shortness of breath...so I was just taking it easy. 

Bryce came home from a dentist appointment and I told him that the contractions were getting pretty uncomfortable.  He asked if we should worry and I said, "no, let me time them. I'm sure they are fine."  I started timing the contractions and they were coming every 3.5-4 minutes. To be safe we called the doctor.  The doctor said that they couldn't monitor twins in the office so they were going to have us go to Labor and Delivery.  

So we woke Peyton up from her nap :( and headed to the hospital.  They strapped me up to monitors and watched the babies and my contractions.  They checked my cervix...I wasn't dilated but my cervix was funneling a little, which she said was pretty normal for twins.  After about 3 1/2 hours of monitoring, with contractions tappering off it was decided that I was good to go home....these babies were staying in! Yay!!  I did however learn that those awesome uncomfortable contractions were likely just going to be in my future for the next several weeks...I just need to keep an eye on them!

Yesterday I had a dr appointment, which was good timing since I was just at the hospital! We got to see the boys. Baby A is still head down but Baby B has decide to flip around so he could sit on his brother's head.  Both boys are growing nicely. Baby A is about 3lb 15oz and Baby B is about 4lb 6oz.  So, yep, I have over 8lb of baby in me! Ugh!!!!!  I also have to start going to the hospital once a week for NST (non-stress test). Basically they will strap me up to the same machines like in the picture above to monitor the babies heart rates and contractions, to make sure none of my contractions are stressing the babies out.  This should be a fun endeavor with Peyton....but I'll figure it out!

So the thing about my doctor office is that it's a larger practice, so I don't always see the same doctor. We have only had a few issues with this in the past....like when one doctor said I didn't need to come back for a month, when I had previously been coming ever 2 weeks for monitoring.  And when I came back 4 weeks later the doctor I saw that day, slightly freaked out that I hadn't been in for 4 weeks and rushed me to an ultrasound.  Clearly, some doctors have different views of how to handle a twin pregnancy....since obviously it's a little more complex that a singleton pregnacy.  

Well, at my last appointment the doctor said around 34 weeks we would start doing weekly visits. When I brought this up to the doctor yesterday, he said "no, we don't need to see you that often."  That just pissed a pregnant lady off.  After we got home I called my doctor office and let them know that it was becoming very frustrating to me that every time I go in each doctor changes my treatment plan. 

Today I got a call back from the doctors office and it was decided that the best plan of action for me would be to see the same doctor the rest of my pregnancy. I got to pick my doctor. I chose a doctor that I saw near the beginning of my pregnancy because she seemed pretty conservative about twin pregnancies.  Which, I think is best fitting for me. Though I have been pregnant before and had a text book pregnancy with Peyton, twin pregnancies are a whole new ball game and ultimately pretty scary! Lots of unknowns! So I'm hoping I picked the right doctor for us.  Fingers crossed!!

The wall

There comes a time in all pregnancies where you hit "the wall".  Where you say...okay, my body is tired, I'm tired and I just can't take anymore!! Typically "the wall" is close to your due date so it all works out well...because there isn't much time left anyways!

Well, today I am 31 weeks pregnant and am in denial of "the wall". I have 7 weeks at most left...there's a lot of unknown time frame wise...and there is NO WAY I can hit "the wall" with 7 weeks left. But at the same time, if this isn't "the wall", what is??

There is not a part on my body that doesn't hurt or isn't uncomfortable.  My back hurts if I sit, lay down, walk...so all the time! I have started swelling just enough that I can't wear my rings and my joints are sore...I never had this problem with Peyton.  The other night I got up literally 6 times to go pee!!! My feet hurt just from standing up or walking to the bathroom. Saying that I waddle is an understatement!! And on top of this exaggerated waddle, it is literally the slowest paced waddle ever...yet it's still my top speed. My hips hurt at night so I'm constantly flipping (if you can even call it that) from one side to the other trying to get comfortable.  Some of my nausea has started to come back...making eating challenging at times.  Bigger shirts I just bought a couple of weeks ago are already feeling not so big already.  But I still have 7 weeks!!

My grandma called me the other day, just to see how I was doing ( how sweet is that!! Way to make a pregnant lady cry!!) and she said, "you must be miserable by now" and I told her, "grandma, I still have a ways to go, I'm not allowed to be miserable yet!" So this cannot be my "wall", not yet! But if this isn't "the wall", what is?!?!