I have become "that mom"

When we found out that we were having twins, especially identical twins, the first thing I said was "I will not put them in matching clothes!"  In fact, I was pretty adamant that family NOT buy us matching outfits. I had this fear about them always being identified as a pair, together, and not having any individuality.  I hated the idea of them always being identified as "the twins"...because though they are twins, they are also individuals. And it was so important to me that they have the opportunity to be individuals. So I boycotted things like twin names. I didn't want to give them matching names just because they were born at the same time. Just like, I didn't want to put them in the same clothes just because there are 2 of them.

However, as we started buying boy clothes, especially now that they are born, there are more and more things that we buy that I find myself saying "this is too cute for them BOTH not to have it!"  And so I have become that twin parent that dresses her twins in the same thing!

As the boys are getting older I am also learning that it doesn't matter what they are wearing, they do still have their individuality and their own personalities. Their little personalities are really starting to show. Trevor seems to be a little more quiet and sensitive to crowds, they seem to overwhelm him at times. Jensen is almost always smiling! He loves to smile and talk, loudly at times! And a crowd, he seems to like it..he wants to see what's going on. But of course, the one thing they seem to have in common...they are both mama's boys. 

Seeing their personalities coming out makes me so excited to see how they continue to grow and see how they are both alike and different. And though I feel that they have proved they are individuals, I think I will still struggle with the label "the twins"...I much prefer the "the boys" or just "Trevor and Jensen". In fact, when they are referred to as "the twins" I often passive aggressively refer to them as one of the above in response.  Because though they are twins, they are also so much more!! But...they do look pretty darn cute when I dress them the same...and I think their personalities come out regardless!  So I guess, being "that mom" isn't so bad, especially when you have cute kids to be "that mom" with!

What's in a name?

Let me start but saying....I LOVE all of my kids names and wouldn't change them! 

However, I always took pride in thinking I would give my kids names that weren't super common but not weird unique names either. I had a few rules when we picked names:

1. No passing down names. I feel pretty passionate about not passing names down. I think each kiddo is an individual and should have their own name. To each their own...it's just not for me.

2. Age appropriate names...they are stuck with this name their entire lives, it should fit all ages!

3.  There should be no questions about how to pronounce it. 

Three simple rules!

Peyton Ashley:

Peyton had her first name picked pretty early on. We (meaning I) teetered on a few others, Hayden, Allison...some others I don't really remember. But we both agreed on Peyton. She didn't have a middle name for a long time...I really wanted Briley or Aubrey, but Bryce wasn't convinced. Finally I told Bryce he could pick (I was willing to save my picks for future first names!)...and Ashley took the win. I always thought her name was pretty straight forward. But we live in Denver...Peyton Manning land!!  While we are big Broncos fans...we are not crazy! As often as I get asked...no, we did not name our daughter AFTER Peyton Manning! They just happen to have the same name. 

Trevor Amen and Jensen Reed:

So Bryce and I decided with the boys that we weren't going to share their names until they were born. To be honest, it was mostly done to torture our families and so we didn't have to hear name advice. We weren't really sure we would make it without spilling the beans...but wanted to try! I must say, I'm super impressed we lasted the whole time. 

Anyways, the way the boys got their names started out with a long list of possible names that we both added to. Then we stared crossing off names we didn't like, until we had a short list. Bryce said he really liked Trevor and I said I really liked Jensen...and their names were decided. Then we picked middle names that we felt matched well. Pretty simple. 

I'm not really sure where Bryce came up with the name Trevor, a baby book perhaps, but either way it's perfect!  I however had a little secret of where I came up with Jensen's name...that I only shared with Bryce several months after we had already decided on names. 

One of my guilty pleasures is the show Supernatural. I have watched it pretty religiously for a couple of years and watch all of the reruns when they play them in the mornings. Bryce makes fun of me for it...but I like it! Well, one of the main actors in the show is named Jensen. I liked it. It's unique but not weird! And Bryce agreed to it...of course without knowing its origins. Now that he knows where I got the name he likes to give me a hard time...but he likes it too. At the time of picking the name I thought it was perfect (I still do)...but since he's been born, people have a hard time with the name (clearly they are not fans of Supernatural). I often hear people think his name is: Jemsen, Jebsen, Genesee...and I'm sure we'll hear many more over the years. 

And so I apologize to Peyton and Jensen (Trevor's name has been problem free so far...good work Bryce) for giving them names that belong to famous people or may be a little unheard of. But they fit you oh so well!! I wouldn't change a thing!!

No (minimal) words!!

I just LOVE seeing my boys together. It's so darn cute...I don't even have to explain it because the pictures do all the work!! Their bond is pretty adorable!!!

Double the....sleep deprivation

Bryce and I were spoiled with Peyton. She is and always has been an amazing sleeper! From 5ish weeks old she was sleeping through the night. We secretly hoped that we would be as lucky the next time around...even though we knew the chances were slim. But we never imagined 2 babies struggling to sleep at the same time. 

The boys will turn 4 months on the 20th and we have hit a wall of sleep deprivation. Bryce and I are tired, have head aches and are functioning at a slow speed. 

The boys have been sleeping so inconsistently. They will occasionally have a night where they sleep beautifully, getting up once to eat. Then most nights they are up multiple time to eat but mostly to be held...sometimes waking every 2 hours and sleeping restlessly on us. We have tried different swaddles, beds, blankets, pillows, positioning....

We keep telling ourselves that they are only little....but there must be some type of compromise. I am fine with getting up to feed a hungry baby...but getting up every hour or 2 because they want be held only to have everyone sleep restlessly, just isn't working anymore.

And so we have entered the controversial world of sleep training.  I debated posting about this journey because I didn't want to be judged for my parenting choices or accused of being cruel or a bad parent. But then I decided that no one, especially those that have never experienced what we are...with 2 babies, is in any position to judge me as a person or a parent. I know that we are doing what's best for our children and family. 

After several recommendations I purchased the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins.  The book talks about the importance of sleep, how sleep works for babies, what sleep should look like for babies, a guide with multiple options to sleep train and how to do it with multiples. It talks a lot about how babies have to get good night sleep to take good naps and vice versa. It also sets out suggested naps for babies...that the first nap is the most important and they should have about 3 naps a day at this age, with 2 hours being about the longest between sleeping. 

Previously we had been taking about 4-5 naps....but yesterday they did 3, all on their own! The book says that the first 2 should be longer and the last one shorter...we are opposite of that with the first one being the short nap, but I'll take what I can get. It is also discussed how important it is try to get both babies on the same schedule. It says that typically this is more natural with identical twins, which seems true for us. The boys seem to be pretty in sync with one another, so that's one less thing I have to do! ;)

One of the biggest changes that we are making is bed time. Previously the boys would go to bed after Peyton, who goes to bed at 8:30. We would try to keep them up later hoping they would sleep later. However, EVERYTHING I have read says early bed time. This means we are now managing bed time for both boys while dealing with a night time toddler. We are having to make sure that we push our 6:00pm dinner up a bit to assure we can get the boys to bed on time, because an overtired baby = bad sleep...I'm choosing to believe this, since that's likely what we have been dealing with.

So last night the boys woke up from their last nap around 5. At 6:30ish we started getting the boys fed and ready for bed. In a typical night both boys scream bloody murder and take LOTS of bouncing and rocking to fall asleep. But last night, following the lead of their last nap, both boys fell asleep within 10-15 minutes! It was seriously a miracle!!

However, staying asleep when in their crib is a whole other story. There are different methods that the book talks about for this...check and console, controlled crying and cry it out.  Check and console is basically...they cry, you console them...without taking them out of the crib. Controlled crying is letting them cry for a certain amount of time before consoling them, you can take them out of the crib with this method, and you increase the amount of time they cry each time.  And finally cry it out...basically you let them cry until they fall asleep. 

Now I'm not opposed to any of these methods...but it is so hard for me to hear my boys cry...like most mothers, I instantly want to comfort them.  Also, my boys are still very young...so in my eyes, too young to cry it out. 

We started out the first night doing controlled crying and maxing out the length they can cry at 15 minutes. That was what I was comfortable with. It was hard...but they eventually did fall asleep...though they did not cry themselves to sleep. But come 4:00am after doing it several times I finally brought Jensen in bed with me. So last night we needed to make some changes. 

Last night we did a mixture of check and console and controlled crying. We stuck with our crying times: 5 minutes, 10 minutes and maxing out at 15 minutes. But we found the boys did better if we consoled them in their cribs, rather than take them out. So when they would cry we would go in after the time was up and comfort them: rub their belly and head, tell them we loved them and they were doing great, give them their paci, etc.   There were also times they would start crying because they lost their paci, so we would just go put it back in, not waiting the length of time. Once the boys fell asleep, again...they didn't cry themselves to sleep, they got up at 12:30 to eat and went back to sleep after about 15 minutes with minimal crying. Trevor got up at 5:30 to eat and Jensen 7:00...then both boys got up for the day around 8:00/8:30. 

So tonight we shall try the same strategy. Our naps aren't going as well already today...but it is what it is and we will soldier on with sleep training! Here's hoping for a good night!

And for those who are silently judging me for letting my babies cry for a SHORT period of time to help them get good sleep...look at these sweet faces! They are clearly well loved and taken care of. Those are not the faces of babies that feel neglected or abandoned or unloved!!