I am excited to meet these boys that have been holding my body hostage for what seems like forever....I'm excited to share their names (finally) and see what they look like and hold and cuddle them. I'm excited to see Bryce with them. I'm excited to have Peyton meet her little brothers. I'm excited to get my body back....or at least start to.
I'm nervous and scared...about being induced and giving birth and facing the possibility of a csection. I'm nervous about going from caring for one child to three...I'm nervous about how Peyton will handle it all. Or how Bryce and I will even handle it all. I'm scared that I won't be able to do it all.
I'm sad...that I can't keep the boys to myself anymore. And perhaps weighing the heaviest on me right now is that I'm sad that all of my attention won't be for just Peyton and that she will have to share me (I keep being told that my love will not be shared it will multiply...so
I look forward to that feeling...versus what I'm feeling now).
I'm worried...that despite my efforts of growing two strong healthy boys, something might be wrong and they still might need NICU time. I'm worried that I won't be able to be the mom I need to be to care for my 3 kiddos. I'm worried I'll be overwhelmed. I'm worried I'll lose my patience. I'm worried I won't be the mom they deserve. I'm worried my dogs will feel even more neglected or abandoned. I'm worried this huge change will take a toll on my marriage. I'm worried I won't be able to handle sharing the boys with others...this was something I struggled with with Peyton, too. I'm worried all of my emotions will get the best of me.
But despite all that I'm feeling...tomorrow is the day. The day we have been waiting 38 weeks for. There were many times I didn't think I would or could possibly make it this far...but I have. I have successfully completed a full term twin pregnancy...with no bed rest and no complications. This has been one hell of a ride...and I know tomorrow a new adventure is about to begin....
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