time to slow down...???

 A friend and coworker of mine was due with her son exactly one year after I was due with Peyton.  So while I was lugging around sweet little baby Peyton she would tell me that I made being pregnant look so easy! She asked how I did it? I had to break the truth to her: I cried almost every night from being tired, uncomfortable, emotional...etc..

I must put on one hell of a front because as HUGE and uncomfortable as I feel right now, I constantly hear how great I am doing and how great I look...that I'm all baby! And as flattered as I am, I hate to break everyone's' heart but....I'm uncomfortable, my back hurts, my braxton hicks make it hard for me to move sometimes, sleeping doesn't happen unless I take something to help me sleep and even then I toss and turn half the night trying to get comfortable, I can't walk up and down the stairs without getting winded, I'm horribly emotional....and to top it all off...I still have 9 weeks to go!!  And much like the last month of my pregnancy with Peyton, I cry almost every night because I'm uncomfortable and can't imagine my belly getting any bigger (I know, I know...it's going to get bigger).

I think often times I just put a smile on my face and say "I can do it" because I believe that I can do it....sure I may be walking around with what looks like a giant pumpkin in my stomach...but I still believe I can carry my laundry upstairs, I can carry Peyton around the store, I can chase Peyton around the mall....because these things still need to get done....right??!?!!?

Well, as my doc put it yesterday, it is time to SLOW DOWN and take it easy!! I have been pretty fortunate to have a pretty easy pregnancy....especially since it's considered a high risk pregnancy.  However, much to the discontent of my friends and family, I'm not quite sure what it means to slow down and take it easy...does chasing Peyton around during gymnastics (crawling on the ground, jumping up and down, literally running after Peyton) count as slowing down??? Probably not! But...she has 5 more weeks of gymnastics, so we are going to have to make it work....after all, I am still mom.

So I'm not sure what this "slowing down" things is going to look like...but I will do my best....

10 weeks or less....Eeek!!!!

Tomorrow I will be 28 weeks pregnant...and today I realized that in 10 weeks or less my family of 3 will become a family of 5!!! Just thinking about that creates an abundance of emotions: excitement, fear, anticipation, nervousness, anxiety, joy...etc.

I begin to think about how not ready we are...we haven't finished painting the boys' room...in fact all their stuff is in the hallway currently.  I need to do clothing inventory....I'm not so sure we are actually prepared to dress two little boys. We have a few big items we still need to purchase....including a crib. I have several DIY projects I have yet to even start. Ugh...but in the end I know that it will all be fine and will work out. But I must admit...this growing list running through my head has my anxiety peeking!

Then I start thinking about how all of this is going to effect Peyton, the dogs...me and Bryce. And in the end I know...we will all adjust!

And ultimately all that I have been thinking about at night as I fall asleep is getting to hold my 2 precious boys. I think about them snuggled and sleeping on my chest....that used to be my favorite with Peyton...it still is when she is willing. And thinking about that makes the lists, fear, anxiety...all seem like nothing!!

Chugging along....

After a nice little 4 week break from Dr appointments we are back to going to the Dr every 2 weeks.  Not because anything is wrong but just to continue monitoring that babies are getting everything they need.  As nice as the break was, I definitely am not complaining about getting to see my boys frequently again!

On Thursday we got to see the boys and they are doing great!! Still measuring neck and neck. Baby A is about 1lb 13oz and Baby B is about 1lb 12oz! Baby A is still sitting head down with his head quite cozy on my cervix (I swear this kid is determined to make sure he's the first one out!) And Baby B is just lounging across the top of my uterus, happily taking up as much room as he can!

I think I can finally tell who is moving when I feel movement! And at almost 2 pounds each, the boys are big enough to start making my belly feel and look like little aliens moving around. There are times I am convinced they just kicking each other back and forth and other times that both boys are definitely moving at the same time because I can feel thumps and rolls and kicks and punches everywhere all at once!!

Tomorrow I will be 26 weeks, which means, in 12 weeks or less, my sweet boys will be here!! It's crazy to think that that is all that is left.  

We have been busy, busy with Peyton and getting things ready for our expanding family.  Peyton is getting in not 1, not 2, but 3 molars! That's right, she is getting in 3 molars, at the same time!! This has made her just slightly unpleasant the past few weeks.  She is also discovering her independence and has been proudly displaying that...especially at nap time!! Her new thing is getting out of bed and playing (or destroying) her bedroom before deciding she's ready for a nap. She also likes to do everything by herself right now...no help!! It is exhausting at times, but ultimately rewarding and fun to see her change and grow everyday.  She sure does keep things interesting!!

We...well, Bryce, has finally started working on painting the boys' room.  And I have slowly been working on the wall art for their room...eventually we will finish!!

Our new family car is finally here......yay!!! Obviously we had to upgrade our car situation because my Ford Escape would not hold 3 car seats.  So a few months ago we factory ordered a Dodge Durango. And on Tuesday we finally got it!! So exciting! It is the first brand new car I have ever had and the first car Bryce and I have picked out together. So far we love it!!

A harsh...yet, hilarious, reality

It has finally happened.  In the last week I have noticed just how big my belly has gotten!!

I now have several maternity shirts that are too short!  Like you can seriously see part of my bump if I wear them. Shirts that were once rather long and that I thought provided plenty of stretch for my growing belly...at 24 weeks, they now, no longer are covering the boys!!

Last night at dinner, Bryce and I went to a cute little steak house in Breckenridge on our night away from home. As we were seated in a lovely booth...I quickly realized that I could not fit!!! Yep...my belly was too big for the booth.  After a good laugh, Bryce switched sides with me since his side seemed to offer just a bit more wiggle room. 

I also have decided that I will no longer feel guilty for using the handicap stall when using public restrooms.  It has become increasingly difficult to get some of those bathroom stall doors open and shut without carefully maniuvering the belly out of the way!!

I am the first to admit...this is all actually really funny!! I'm only 24 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) and my belly is already big enough that it's creating issues.  How will I manage for 14 more weeks...and how big will I get!?!??!!?  Eeek.....

      23 weeks and 3 days. 

Hormonal rant

Please read disclosure at bottom of post. 

When one is pregnant they are often greeted by friends, family and strangers with remarks such as this:

Look how cute your belly is!

You look great. 

Congratulations!

What a blessing. 

You will be a great mom!

However, when you are pregnant with twins the sentiment from friends, family and strangers is not as....warm.  If I hear the warm sentiments listed above, they are often times accompanied by "but.."; though many times I just hear things like:

I can't imagine how big you will be by the end. 

3 under 2?!?

You are going to need a lot of help. 

The face that says "Eeek" 

I hope you have help. 

I always wanted twins. 

Better you than me. 

First off, when Bryce and I planned to grow our family...it was by 1...not 2!! The 2nd baby of this twin pregnancy was quite a surprise and obviously not planned (though very much loved and welcomed).  Because seriously...who plans on having twins?!??!!? 

Second, having a baby is never an easy thing. You lose sleep, sanity and much more.  However, many mothers (parents) parent multiple children everyday!! I will not be the first mom to ever have twins with a toddler already on scene. Where is everyone's optimism and confidence in me?? I have it in myself, as does Bryce...why can't people just say "you're a great mom! You'll do great!"  But constantly having others...who have never raised twins themselves, mind you...tell me how hard it's going to be and how much help I'm going to need is rather frustrating...especially for a hormonal pregnant woman.  And to them I say:

Third, no pregnant woman...whether she's carrying multiples or not, wants to hear about her size. Guess what...I already feel huge and uncomfortable!! And have many thoughts...nightmares...about how big I'm going to get by the end of this! And while it's okay for me to make comments about it...you should not join in!

I know that this pregnancy is not going to be a cake walk...because...I'm experiencing it first hand!! I know that having twins is not going to be easy peasy, and there will be many tiring, exhausting and hard times. But I also have faith in myself as a parent and that in the end it will all be okay and will work out.

And so ends the rant...until next time!

**dear friends and family...If you have in the past made such comments please do not take offense to this post. It was not written with any one person in mind, nor was it written to offend or upset anyone. Love you all!

Growing Strong!!

This has been an exciting week in the world of baby(ies) growing!!  Yesterday I had a dr appoitnment at 21 weeks to finish up the anatomy scan....yes the anatomy scan has taken place over a few weeks.  Apparently double babies are trickier to measure! ;)  Both boys are growing amazingly and are still boys (;0 hahaha)!!  They have been growing neck and neck which is exactly what we want! Baby A was weighing in at 14 oz and baby B 13 oz.  Since these boys are growing so wonderfully I no longer have to go in every 2 weeks (until later).  So my next appointment is in 4 weeks, but we wont do another ultrasound until 2 weeks after that.  So that is 6 weeks until I see my boys again!! This makes me a bit nervous....as our original monitoring plan was every 2 weeks and I felt calm and reassured that every few weeks I got to see that my boys were doing well.  However, Bryce has sweetly reassured me that it's a good thing! That all it means is I'm such a good baby baker that the boys are growing perfectly and don't need to be seen as often.  So I will be constantly reminding myself of this...repeating it as a mantra...the next 6 weeks until I get to see them again.

the boys are fine! i make healthy babies.
the boys are fine! i make healthy babies.
the boys are fine! i make healthy babies.

Both of my boys flexing some arm muscles at 21 weeks!

I will say that I am put slightly at ease with not seeing them as often, knowing that I have really started feeling them squirm and worm around...it seems to be more and more every day.  Last night, Bryce finally got to feel some kicks too!

The obvious question I regularly get is: how does it feel with 2 moving around in there?

I thought I could tell who I was feeling....assuming baby A was on the bottom and baby B was on the top...until yesterday.  Yesterday, during our ultrasound, both boys were head down (on the cervix area) and feet up! ugh.....so much for my theory of one being toward the top and one toward the bottom.  Now I have NO clue who is moving when!!

I suppose, so far, the only way it is really different from one baby moving is that I feel it more EVERYWHERE and sometimes in multiple spots at once.  But I'm sure the differences will become more prevalent as they get bigger.  But for now I'm just relieved to get to feel them moving around.

Since babies (and mommy) are growing great....I have been reassured that all the aches and pains I've been feeling are totally normal and nothing to be worried about...my goal for the next month is to remain calm and not stress!  Last week I started a prenatal yoga class...so I will  be continuing those Wednesday nights.  It is nice to get away and have a little "alone" time to relax and stretch.  I definitely enjoyed the environment and look forward to my weekly stress-reliever (and hopefully pain-reliever) sessions.

Holy babies!! 21 weeks and measuring about a month ahead.  

Growing up is hard...on moms!!

Well....Last night was the first time that Peyton slept in her big girl bed! In fact, it's almost 9am and she's still sleeping in her big girl bed.

I have been nervous and anxious about getting Peyton's new room put together and her sleeping in it!  It's been a bit of a slow process....we have had her bed for awhile (it became a fun toy!) and then slowly got things painted and moved. The final thing we were waiting for before getting Peyton moved in was our new baby monitor ( daddy wanted to motion track her!!).  So yesterday we picked up the new monitor and got it all set up. 

Bed time hit and Peyton didn't want to go to bed...as usual.  But with a little bit of whining she let me lay her in her bed, I gave her all of her stuffed animals to cuddle with, covered her with her blanket and kissed her goodnight.  She cried a little ( she tends to do that when she's over tired) but she stayed in bed.  As I turned off the hall lights and walked down the stairs I began to instantly cry....I mean hysterically BAWL.  

Bryce met me at the bottom of the stairs askig what was wrong.  I was crying so much I could hardly get anything out.

I was crying because I didn't want her to be scared in a new room and I was sad that my sweet little baby was big enough to sleep in a bed and not her crib!  I wasn't ready for her to grow up yet! In fact...I'm crying as I write this! (I'm sure some of it has to do with the mass amounts of hormones I have running through my body right now). But regardless, the first night was a success. 

I'm watching her on her monitor now and she just leaned over the bed to pick up any fallen stuffed animals and is laying back down cuddling with them! How cute is that!?!!?

Ugh....I can't believe she's growing up so fast!!